Project: Ribbon Wreath

Morning Everybody!!

Today, we'll be discussing the craft that deflated every last ounce of crafting enthusiasm in my body and led to my not contributing to this blog for a good, hot minute. It might be my least favorite craft of all time, the dreaded RIBBON WREATH.

Take a good look at it's pure evil.

It's super cute, right? Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Of course I found the thing on Pinterest, pinned from an absolutely fantastic little site known as The Long Thread. They have tons of sewing and fabric-related crafts with complete DIY tutorials, so if that sort of thing is your cup of crafting tea, go check them out!! Apparently, fabric crafts are NOT my forte, however.

I guess I should start by explaining my dire obsession with wreaths. It is my sole purpose in life to accumulate an unreasonable number of wreaths for each holiday and season of the year, and I'll be damned if my wreaths aren't the best on the block. IT'S A MATTER OF PRIDE AND UTMOST IMPORTANCE.

Totally, not even a little bit.

So, of course I thought the wreath was adorable and that it would be super cool to be able to customize it to exactly what I want. Hence, I took on the ribbon wreath project. I went to Michael's and picked out some ribbon, totally ignoring the instructions from the pin. I decided that it might be a GREAT idea to get wired ribbon (first mistake) so that it would be easier to arrange the hang-y bits and make them look nice. Also, my house is the color of a gender-neutral baby shower (a pale, and terrible yellow) so I thought orange would not only match, but really liven the front door up a bit.

My wreath and pile of ribbon.

As you can see, the concept of the craft is pretty easy - tie ribbon to a wreath and viola. I should note that since my ribbon was sort of sheer (my second mistake), I had to paint the green wreath thing-er with orange paint 3 times, so that the green wouldn't show through and look weird. While it dried, I began cutting my ribbon into the appropriate lengths. And cutting...and cutting....and still more cutting.

I don't want to see another pair of scissors.

Guys, there was so much cutting. Not only did I have to go back to Michael's twice for more ribbon, but it took a total of FOUR spools of the shit to barely cover the entirety of the wreath. I was literally cutting, on and off, for about 3 weeks. Furthermore, the wire in the ribbon made it difficult to create uniform, forget attractive, knots. Lastly, the sheer ribbon looks weird on the door, because it's sheer. [Duh.] I recommend doing the opposite of what I did if you decide to try this and get non-wired, opaque ribbon.

Here's how stupid my wreath looks:

It looks totally scraggly!! I'm ashamed!!! Luckily, it doesn't look THAT bad from farther away:

Slightly better, still terrible.

I'm so totally bummed by how it turned out. However, I'm not giving up yet on my dream for a good-looking DIY wreath. My next attempt at a summer wreath will commence soon so stay tuned for more Craft Implosions from yours truly!!

If you totally one-up'd me on this project, send in your pics!!! We want to see them!!!

Project: Glow Jars

Oh, have I got a good one for you today...

There has been a pin floating around for some time now, showing us how to very simply make a super cool glow jar:

Yeah, that one!!! I thought this would the perfect thing to entertain and amuse my toddler, so I set to work right away to make him his very own. Of course, this is a Pinterest thing, but the pin comes from VIPpins, which I don't think is the original author of this project, but it's the closest I can get to giving proper credit. 

The basics of the project are as follows:

1. Get mason jars.

2. Get glow-in-the-dark paint.

3. Paint dots inside the mason jar.

4. Fill with water (?).

5. Be amazed.

Whoa! Super easy! Surely, I can paint dots with the best of 'em. I went to le craft store and picked up my supplies:

That's my hubby in the background, trying to provide a white backdrop (his idea) for my photo. lolz. What I have there is just a pack of 6 glow paints, which cost me about $9.00, so not too bad. We already had mini mason jars in the house, which is how you know you're a craft nerd.

I decided such a vast array of glow-paint colors dictated that I must painstakingly, over a period of 3 days, add 3 colors to each jar, one by one. I chose to do one jar in pink, orange, and yellow, while the other jar was blue, green, and white, more like the one from Pinterest.

Here you can see me adding dots, and how it looked:

Green jar

Red jar

In case you were curious, here is how my jars look from the side:

It should be noted that the directions stated the more dots, the cooler it looks so I did my best to add TONS of dots.

Alright, pretty exciting. Now here's where the directions get a bit iffy...the recipe stated that somewhere along the way, I would need water. HOWEVER, it did not specify WHY I needed said water. I put on my science-hat, and figured that water in the jar would multiply the glowing effect by creating reflections. I'll accept my science trophy later, for being so smart and all.

My husband was exceedingly skeptical that this project would work at all. Namely, questioning the integrity of the glow-paint itself to actually glow. He decided to cook my jars under this extreme halogen lamp for maximum glow:

Alright! You guys ready to see my super mega cool glow jars???

Yep.

BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!! OMGosh, what a complete and total CRAFT IMPLOSION!!! Now I should note that the jars do glow, just not even close to the awesomeness level the pin promised me. 

Has anyone tried and pwn'd this project?? If so, we want to hear from you!!!

Recipe: Healthy Cheese Sticks

What? Healthy cheese sticks!?! It's a miracle!

Or so Miss Lizzie thought when she saw this pin on Pinterest:

Mmmmm, looks freaking delicious. The recipe can be found over at Olive the Ingredients, where you can also find other tasty things that are actually semi-good for you. Very simply, the idea is to just wrap up mozzarella cheese sticks into won ton wrappers and bake them.

Oh, snap.

Apparently, some things are easier said than done...

Hehehehe, here's what Miss Lizzie herself had to say about this fabulous specimen of a recipe fail:

" These are dangerously melty. Don't let even the tiniest spot of cheese see the light of day when you wrap them, or else that cheese will end up all over your baking sheet (NAILED IT). They taste pretty good, not like actual mozzarella sticks but like viable alternatives. Next time I'm definitely adding some Italian seasoning or something, at the very least some basil, because they do literally just taste like a cheese stick in a wonton wrapper. That is not the taste explosion I had hoped for. In the end I give this recipe a B+, my attempt at it a C, and my predicted future success with it an A-."


Don't forget!! You can submit your own Pinter-fails to this blog (and we're just dying to see them)! We're also taking PinWins, so if you totally pwn'd a craft or a recipe, take a pic and send it in!!