Project: Ribbon Wreath

Morning Everybody!!

Today, we'll be discussing the craft that deflated every last ounce of crafting enthusiasm in my body and led to my not contributing to this blog for a good, hot minute. It might be my least favorite craft of all time, the dreaded RIBBON WREATH.

Take a good look at it's pure evil.

It's super cute, right? Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Of course I found the thing on Pinterest, pinned from an absolutely fantastic little site known as The Long Thread. They have tons of sewing and fabric-related crafts with complete DIY tutorials, so if that sort of thing is your cup of crafting tea, go check them out!! Apparently, fabric crafts are NOT my forte, however.

I guess I should start by explaining my dire obsession with wreaths. It is my sole purpose in life to accumulate an unreasonable number of wreaths for each holiday and season of the year, and I'll be damned if my wreaths aren't the best on the block. IT'S A MATTER OF PRIDE AND UTMOST IMPORTANCE.

Totally, not even a little bit.

So, of course I thought the wreath was adorable and that it would be super cool to be able to customize it to exactly what I want. Hence, I took on the ribbon wreath project. I went to Michael's and picked out some ribbon, totally ignoring the instructions from the pin. I decided that it might be a GREAT idea to get wired ribbon (first mistake) so that it would be easier to arrange the hang-y bits and make them look nice. Also, my house is the color of a gender-neutral baby shower (a pale, and terrible yellow) so I thought orange would not only match, but really liven the front door up a bit.

My wreath and pile of ribbon.

As you can see, the concept of the craft is pretty easy - tie ribbon to a wreath and viola. I should note that since my ribbon was sort of sheer (my second mistake), I had to paint the green wreath thing-er with orange paint 3 times, so that the green wouldn't show through and look weird. While it dried, I began cutting my ribbon into the appropriate lengths. And cutting...and cutting....and still more cutting.

I don't want to see another pair of scissors.

Guys, there was so much cutting. Not only did I have to go back to Michael's twice for more ribbon, but it took a total of FOUR spools of the shit to barely cover the entirety of the wreath. I was literally cutting, on and off, for about 3 weeks. Furthermore, the wire in the ribbon made it difficult to create uniform, forget attractive, knots. Lastly, the sheer ribbon looks weird on the door, because it's sheer. [Duh.] I recommend doing the opposite of what I did if you decide to try this and get non-wired, opaque ribbon.

Here's how stupid my wreath looks:

It looks totally scraggly!! I'm ashamed!!! Luckily, it doesn't look THAT bad from farther away:

Slightly better, still terrible.

I'm so totally bummed by how it turned out. However, I'm not giving up yet on my dream for a good-looking DIY wreath. My next attempt at a summer wreath will commence soon so stay tuned for more Craft Implosions from yours truly!!

If you totally one-up'd me on this project, send in your pics!!! We want to see them!!!

Project: Get Horizontal

Get Horizontal!! No, not in the dirty way...

This project, as always, was found on Pinterest but it originates over at Apartment Therapy and they have tons of great ideas for your home decor so check 'em out!!

The idea of this project is to stack-hang full-length mirrors as an alternative to one giant mirror. I think it looks super modern and classy:

The wonderful Miss Lizzie has been a craft machine lately and decided she would attempt this for her home. Furthermore, she was going to be a strong, independent sort of gal and do it all by herself! She has graciously laid out the steps she took for us to enjoy titled, "How NOT to Get Horizontal":

"Step 1: See a Pin on an article called "Getting Horizontal" (http://pinterest.com/pin/173951604326950993/) and think, 'Wow! That looks easy! I'll do that right now!'"

"Step 2: Pull out your old cheapo full-length mirror that's been sitting in a closet for three years.  Image yourself gloating to your co-workers about your Pin Win tomorrow morning."


"Step 3: Notice that there are no horizontal hangers on your old cheapo mirror, and also that the back of it seems to be mostly mirror with very little frame in which to nail a hanger, though it's hard to tell because it's all covered in cardboard.  Weigh the mirror and find out that it's over ten pounds, meaning no amount of sticky adhesives can be trusted to hold it.  But don't let this get you down - you're a strong and independent woman who can conquer any household problem and does not need to rely on anyone (let alone a man) for advice on how to hang a dang mirror."

"Step 4: Rummage in your closet until you find somewhat suitable sawtooth metal bits to nail into the very top of the frame, along with sticky sawtooth hangers for the wall. Tentatively hammer the sawtooth bits into the frame, and feel triumphant when they do appear to be sinking into wood behind the cardboard, not just hitting mirror. Sit back and smile; you're practically Martha Stewart."


"Step 5: Give one extra tap on a sawtooth metal bit, just to make sure it's in securely... subsequently breaking the mirror. Cry out in dismay to a husband who really couldn't care less what you're doing over there on the living room rug with a hammer at 9pm."

"Step 6: Buck up - you're creative, just like Martha, and even though you don't have a mirror anymore, you have a perfectly good frame which we all know would make a lovely display area for fabric or scrapbook paper or wire that will hold your necklaces. Use all of your might to pry the frame off the broken mirror. Set your frame on the back of your console table, and watch as it slides behind the table, crashing to the floor and coming apart."

Step 7: Congratulate yourself on a craft well-imploded, and remember that even though you don't have a pretty horizontal wall mirror, at least you have something to submit to PinterShit.

Ha!!!! Fabulous Craft Implosion, indeed!

Make sure to tune in for the next few days for a full report as I'm finishing up my Pinterest DIY Ribbon Wreath! HAPPY CRAFTING!

Project: Glitter Paint Glasses

Happy New Year, Dear Followers and Readers!!

I thought it would be appropriate after this past New Year's weekend to show you all how my glitter paint glasses project turned out. I tried to do some champagne flutes in preparation for the holiday and here's what happened...

I found the project on Pinterest, but the craft originates over at Martha Stewart's site (Damn you, Martha!!!) and looks just gorgeous:

Seems simple enough! Just tape off and paint the glasses. Got it.

I used blue painters tape cut into thin strips to tape off a nice pattern and like the ones on Martha's site, I did 4 pink ones and 4 gold ones. The project was a disaster right from the get-go. The first round of glitter paint hardly looked like I had done anything but fog the glass up. It was clear that multiple coats would be necessary to get the full glitter effect.

Unfortunately, my blending skills are apparently a bit rusty. I had higher hopes for the ones I taped a stripe on, since it seemed like the paint was coating a bit better.

Yeah. The paint peeled off right with the tape.

Here is the "finished product."

Now I have a bunch of hideous champagne flutes I have no idea what to do with.
We'll just mark this as my second craft implosion on the site, and the first craft implosion of the year!!

Project: Button Bowl

I cannot even begin to tell you the hilarity that ensued with this project. Some smart-ass with buttons and an idea made this lovely bowl below, and worse, made me think I could make one too. Basically, you glue buttons to a blown up balloon and when the glue has dried, you pop the balloon, leaving this nice accent piece behind.

First, I went out to buy buttons. I should have known right from the get-go because I couldn't find them anywhere. I finally found normal, round buttons at a fabric store, but they cost me a whopping $5.00 for a pack of about 50 buttons. I bought 3 packs with the intention of making 2 bowls.

Now the fun part - I blew up my balloon and drew a nice shape on it to go by. I made the executive decision that the best thing to glue the buttons to the balloon was puzzle glue since it dried clear and is meant for gluing together tiny pieces anyway. Seemed to make sense.

After applying a nice, thin coat of puzzle glue to the balloon, I began painstakingly arranging my buttons on the balloon, being mindful of size, style, color, and placement. What a good job I did! I placed my completed balloon on a cup to dry upright and headed to bed.

The next morning, I awoke to this:

Yikes. My buttons had slid down the side of the balloon overnight. Nice.

In a desperate attempt to salvage the Christmas project I was trying to make for my mom, I put new buttons on the edges and trapped them with a nice, thick coat of glue all over. Surely, as they dry overnight, I'll have a lovely button bowl by morning.

Next day....
"Alright!," I said to my skeptical husband, "I'm going to pop it!" POP!
The sound that the balloon made as it popped and half a pint of puzzle glue crinkled and contracted in panic, was absolutely awful. There are no words to accurately describe the HORRIBLE noise, which lasted a good 30 seconds.

Are you ready to see my button balloon bowl?

Here it is after I removed the balloon:

Bwaaaaaahahahahahahaaa!!! No need to ask for a rating, this was a serious Craft Implosion!!!

In short, I do not recommend this project for anything but laughs!

Project: Pringle Can Bracelets

Alright! I have attempted a Pinterest craft - Pringle Can Bracelets. Before it hit Pinterest, the craft originated at The Happy Housewife but the full tutorial is over at Shakespear's Stage.

 <-- This is what they are supposed to look like.

<-- This is what mine look like.













What do you think? -- Was this a Pin WIN or a Craft Implosion?

Things I've learned:

1. To make a line on the Pringles can you can cut on, put a rubber band around the can and trace with a permanent marker.

2. I used a straight razor to cut the Pringles can. It was not as easy as I thought it would be.

3. I used a hot glue gun to attach the ribbon and embroidery thread. It worked fine. Note: If you are going to do the embroidery thread ones, they take FOREVER.

4. You can't go straight up and down when you are wrapping the ribbon. You need to move at an angle.

5. I did three different sizes. The larger they are, the easier it seems to wrap them.

If you try this craft, we'd love for you to send us pictures!!!